Needle & Thread
Does your external scars tell a story? Do they limit you? Does your scars define who you are? Sometimes we carry our scars, flaws and imperfections and allow that to drive how we see ourselves.
For years I’ve struggled with ACNE! My goodness, even as an adult I still battle with it. The breakouts don’t bother me as much as the scaring does. And I honestly allowed these types of blemishes and scars to define how I felt about myself for so many years…not everyday, but some days I didn’t feel beautiful. It takes so much energy to cover up with makeup, even it out and blend it. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize those imperfections are OF me but they are NOT me.
Then theres the scars that tell a story, a walk through a journey. When I was 14/15 years old I noticed a lump in my breast that continued to grow. We eventually had it removed, tested and luckily it was benign. I’m so grateful to have such a positive outcome. However, the scar is still there. I KNOW what it is but others don’t. As I grow more comfortable with my body and being photographed intimately I STILL have an inkling to remove the scar from the images for a more “polished” look. But you know what, that’s a part of me. And it tells a success story that many of women have battled with a different outcome.
Lets see, oh yes, the scar of ALL scars as a woman! You know the one that is our permanent stamp of motherhood…stretch marks and THE caesarian scar. Now these scars really did me in. I understand many women heal perfectly fine from a csection and some never get stretch marks. But hoooooney, for me, after 2 emergency sections (7 years apart) my scars are ever so noticeable. Let me tell you, I felt like my body was destroyed! I felt ugly and nasty! Maybe because in the beginning I felt like women who had csections were less of a mother because we didn’t deliver in the natural form that God intended. I whole heartedly know it was a mental thing.
However, as the years went by and I began to research all the possibilities that not only happen with childbirth but caesarians as well, I felt like a WARRIOR! Coming through such a dangerous procedure ALIVE with healthy boys, recovering with minimal to no complications, it was like a triumph! I now refer to my scar as my “battle scar/war wound” because it tells a story of life and love. It is my branding of motherhood. It is the evidence of a victorious battle to bring my boys into this world when they’re little hearts (literally) couldn’t take it within mommy’s body any longer. Now granted it’s a scar that can only be seen intimately. But honey, trust and believe if I ever lose this stomach…oh you won’t be able to tell me NOTHING in my low cut, 2-piece bikini!!
How has your external scars played a part in or on your life...or how you see yourself? How did you close that internal wound that the external scar(s) caused? For those that may be struggling greatly with confidence or self image because of an external scar, what advice would you give to heal, mend and sow it right on up??